If you choose to know me... 2009

If you choose to know me, know me as I am from this day on, because to know my past is to know my pain, and to know my pain is to learn where I have fallen short time and time again. To know me now is to know that I have picked myself up every time I have fallen, and have tried to right where I have wronged. I have forgiven even those who have yet to be able to forgive me. I will not share the betrayals, mine or others', because although I am the same flesh who hurt and who was hurt, I am a stranger to whom I once was. For good or for bad, I cannot change who I have been, for it has led me to who I am today. For good or for bad, in darkness and in light, I can only try each day to be better than I am at this moment, and to recognize that tomorrow opens the door to second chances. These second chances may or may not be what I thought I desired yesterday, or think I desire today, they will be at the very least a chance for a new beginning, and change. I am forever linked to the sins of my past, and the only guarantee I can make is that one day in the future I will again fall short or fail. The only promise I can make to myself is that on that day I will again pick myself back up and try to make right by learning from where I have gone wrong. I make this promise to myself because if I cannot keep a promise to myself, I can never keep a promise to another. One of the only constants in life is change, positive or negative, often unnoticed until one day you look back upon what has been days, weeks, years, or eternity, and you open your eyes and see every tiny step has become a giant leap. The only thing that carries us is faith, and without faith we are alone, but with faith we may hope to one day recognize the beauty within one another, faults and all.