Thief

This wasn’t my plan,
His wasn’t my sickness,
These weren't my dreams,
These were his wishes,
I was just a little girl,
I was just playing dolls,
Before becoming this monster,
I sang and skipped down the hall,
He stole my playtime,
He shattered my soul,
My dolls became demons,
My playground a hole,
There used to be laughter,
Blonde hair in the sun,
There’s not enough bleach,
To clean up what he’s done,
His hands were dirty,
His soul was as well,
A sweet blue eyed angel,
Whom he sentenced to hell,
My smile now as forced and fake,
Like the face of those dolls,
My stare as dead and empty,
My blood poured down that hall.

Silence

In the cold sober light of a Colorado morning,
His silence rolled in without a warning,
His feelings were gone like the heat from the ashes,
Her memories of the fire hit her in flashes,
Just barely Moments after the embers are cool,
She’s reeling and tripping and acting a fool,
After all who was she to question his fears
I must have dreamed it she chokes through her tears
The quiet is awkward now they are apart
Together it was replaced with the beat of their hearts,
And the touch of his hands on the back of her thighs,
The silence was filled with what now wounds like lies,
Meant to deceive by a theif of hearts,
Silly to take what she handed over in the dark,
A bolt of lightening a flash in the pan
Once solid ground where she can now barely stand
1000 dayss, so happy alone and now this,
Three years on her own but she would have been his
Its cost too much just to turn back now,
He walks away without effort, she does not understand how.

I think of you while the sun is rising still baffled how i woke up in your arms,
I didn't know that a full moon could shake me...
or a glimpse of your heart might just break me,
as I lose sleep it is so surprising,
for a moment you were the calm in my storm.
I know it hasn't been a long time,
but the days grow short and you're still on my mind,
the wind is getting colder like my soul,
another birthday in October,
God knows how I lived to see this day...
It's hard to know the right thing to say,
I wasn't prepared to ever feel this way,
like maybe I could try one more time ...
So if I misread the place of your heart,
your intentions twisted from the sparked start,
who knows maybe it was just the fire and gasoline...
To trust in my heart has always leftme so broken,
but somehow between the words unspoken,
maybe your heart's been bruised as much as mine...
So goodnight baby I don't mean maybe,
when I say I think you're soul is solid gold,
hug your babies in the coldest weather,
your love for them is all you're guaranteed forever,
and the comfort that you can always count on change...

A Second Glance

I didn’t give a second glance,
The first time you flashed that smile,
Completely unbeknownst to me,
I would only be immune for awhile,
Your eyes that squint and sparkle through,
So seductive and so green,
Would slowly start to chip away the ice,
From every past what might have been,
My heart is safe I tell myself,
The ice too solid and too thick,
The walls I've built are very high,
and the mortar has dried,
Over every tortured brick.
I thought I’d use that picket fence,
and some kerosene,
To light the bed of my funeral pyre,
the devil would dance upon the coals,
Of this soured soul He does desire,
It was just as simple as you being who you are,
Every wrinkle and imperfection,
My nails begin to claw the rocks I've stacked,
To stave out all affection
I still have questions in my core,
If I could love a soul so bright as yours,
I have so many broken pieces,rusted nails and shuttered doors.
Thank you for the light you have left,
in this moonless darkened space,
and if it never lasts beyond today,
I will carry close thememory,
Of ours and the childrens’ laughter,
Which echo through this empty space

I'll just write your name with A blade on my skin,
It's the only metaphor fitting this sickness within,
My touch scars like an acid on soft perfect skin,
My presence will poison your soul from within,
I walk with the demons I crawl with the Flies,
I can't be your Savior my beauty is lies,
I will never hold hands with an angel you see,
I can't fight the demon if the demon is me.