Impatient

Slow down impatient girl,
You’re running too fast,
You push so hard to get in,
You break right through the glass,
And still you wonder why you bleed,
Chasing away everything that you need
You watch me shoot whiskey like I think this is fun
While my demons rejoice in what I’ve become,
My soul is tired, I put in work to stay numb,
Arm wrestled the devil and that bastard has won,
I'm a drunk, I'm a lush, I'm a blonde broker of sin
Can’t find where your heart ends or where mine begins
I rise each morning crash to my knees by days end,
Life is fucking cheap when its your soul that you spend.
Megan Jean Forrest

Stars

Keep passing me by,
-One day at a time-
Still ripped away.
Out of control
-Smooth on the surface-
No ripples disturb the pond.
-Glassy-
Glossy eyes gaze through haze
High above the world.
Even so high,
It's not much better up here.
Heaven is so far away
-In the palm of my hand-
Cannot make a fist
Too far to reach
-Without going to far-
Point of no return
In vision
Wanting to go there
Cannot
-You can never come back
Maybe Heaven
Isn't all that it's cracked up to be
Another short ride
-Flying high-
Empty once it's over.
I thought I heard you there once
Voice so clear
-I thought you were in my head
Could you see my thoughts?
Understood.
You could not be
Then it was gone-
-Desperation-
Slowly slipping back
Reality
Not Sanity.
If I made it
Perhaps I could
-Find a way-
Come back
You couldn't see me,
Hear me.
Could you
-Feel me?-
I am right here
Maybe its better
Not to return at all
Halfway between here and Heaven
-Hell-
Hopefully not forever.
Here I am for now
Still trying to grasp the stars
Without leaving the ground.

-Delusive-
People's minds and souls
-Weakness-
In thought and action
-Strength-
Words spoken without thought
Drowning in their shallowness
For they are many
Wrapped in a blanket of themselves
Not to be awakened
To the power of their words
Never to inspect them again
Endeavor to refrain from judgment
-Face-
-Value-
All they are worth

Caring Is

Caring is….
There is no simple answer. Part of caring is being the one who is willing to dig deeper to find an answer, to go a step farther to give comfort, to be the last one standing in a room full of fleeing people to make sure the last person there has a hand to grab onto. Caring is walking up to the cliff’s edge when no one else will come near the ledge, but still maintaining a level head at the same time. (However, if you put a level on my head that little bubble would be WAY off center.) Caring is having a voice that others can hear above the roar of life. Caring is recognizing the unique soul in each of us but remembering to embrace what joins us all as human beings. Caring is knowing that a sober face isn’t always the correct one, that sometimes a tear on your cheek allows someone to see that you are not just another faceless robot on an isolated highway. Caring is being a part of someone’s happiness, sharing their sadness, giving them a safe place to express their anger, their fear, frustration, weakness, hopes, and dreams. It is owning your mistakes and learning from them, and using what you have learned to try again. It is not being afraid to say you are afraid, and asking for help when you do not know how to proceed on your own. Caring is knowing the difference between needing to keep a secret, when to confide, and when to protect. Caring is knowing that the best way for me may not be the best way, however I will give you a damn good argument why it should be! Caring is realizing that sometimes you need to shut the hell up and listen, and that sometimes silence and offering a hand to hold is the best way to be heard. Caring is hugging, holding, and giving space. Caring is looking for the light in people when everyone else sees only their darkness, and hoping you can show that person how their light shines out of the cracks in their soul. It can be a very dark world, but even the smallest beam of light can illuminate and entire room if you allow your eyes, and heart, to adjust to the glow. It takes patience, but also knowing that some things require a sense of urgency. Caring is not losing hope or giving up, but knowing there is a difference between giving up and letting the universe take control of what you cannot. Caring is also remembering that you must care for yourself if you are to be able to care for another. For a long long time I let that detail derail my life, my soul, my heart. I had to learn that despite my faults, my stumbles, my shortcomings, I am worth love. You are all worth love. Love is the only hope.
Lots of love to you all.
Megan 2009

Ironworker.

I want you to know that your touch blisters my skin,
I want you to know I will feel nothing better than that again,
I want you to know your words try to cut me so deep,
But I want you to know they don’t hurt my sleep,
I want you to know you try to rip me to shreds,
But I want you to know that from pain you were led,
I want you to know when you try to tear me down,
It is your pain that scrapes my knees when I fall to the ground,
I want you to know when you raise your fists to protect your heart,
I can see that your cracks permeated your soul from the start,
I want you to know while you try to break my legs,
I know you just needed a soul next to you that you did not need to beg,
I want you to know while you aim your torch and burn my tears,
The very same fire inside you murdered my doubts, destroyed my fear,
Do you know your screams of rage you use to push me away,
Sound the same as your cries as you plead me to stay?
Do you know the sound of the beat of your heart when you run,
Mimics the sound of your love making and the sound of a gun?
Do you know I don’t blame you or your knife for gutting my soul,
Of course you don’t believe you’ve been raked through the coals,
One thing you do know is the sound of my relief and my sigh,
The way the world melts away when you fill me with lies,
You can feel my body tremble and that sick sweet release,
My true loves are criminals, I give my heart away to you beautiful thief.